See You on the Backlot Read online

  But you never can tell. Sometimes the whole back yard is open to any and everyone, it seems. I don’t know why carnies would suddenly become all hospitable – unless there was something in it for them. Usually, everyone is a lot more open to having guests and meeting up at the beginning of the season, so they can figure out who is who and what is what. Meetings like that are what set the tone for the rest of the season, gazoonie, if you know what I mean.

  But later on during the run everyone wants a little more privacy. Day in and day out of being together on the road and in the lot starts putting everyone on edge. Then a beef or three might start up, and before you know it areas of the back yard just ain’t so friendly any more. Still, when you’re as with it as I am, it shouldn’t matter too much where your feet decide to take you as long as you can BC.

  So, I set my feet towards taking me for a walk around the lot. I’m doing it nice and easy, taking my time – not making a beeline for her dad’s trailer or anything like that – when I look over and what do I see but a couple of the more familiar faces.

  Like I told you, everyone on the lot knows me, so I can go just about anywhere just about any time with no problem. So when I saw Mutt and Jeff, I just told them Al-A-Ga-Zam (remember – the way to say ‘hello’ to the agents that I told you?), figuring they were on their way to the cook shack from their beds, and went on my way. And next thing I know, they’re standing in my way, wanting to chat.

  ‘Hey there, Tony,’ said Mutt. ‘What are you doing?’ Jeff just nodded – he tends not to talk much.

  ‘Just on a little walkabout,’ I replied, nonchalant-like. ‘Seeing the sights. You know.’

  ‘We was just talking as we was heading over to the cook shack,’ Mutt continued, his tongue licking over the couple of teeth which appears to be all he has left, ‘and we was thinking you might be able to help us out.’

  Now, normally I’m quick to help anyone out who comes to me for information. Today, though, I have a mission on my mind and don’t want to get distracted by anything else. I went to step around the two of them with a quick, ‘Sorry. Busy.’ But before I got too far, Jeff was right in front of me, and Mutt’s hand was on my arm.

  ‘No, no,’ Mutt said to me. ‘We won’t take no for an answer!’

  His hand on my arm was pretty friendly-like, but I could feel his strength behind it. And Jeff didn’t have a tent stake in his hand, but he definitely seemed intent on keeping me from going my own way.

  Look, greenie, I’m not saying I was afraid. I mean, you know me, I’m not afraid of anyone or anything. But these guys are carnies of the old school through and through – and I knew that if I gave them too much trouble, they might just take a poke at me just to show me who’s boss. So I let myself be led off, with the two of them glancing over their shoulders several times, as we headed in the direction of the cook shack.

  Did they have questions for me? Yeah, I suppose… I mean, they bought me some coffee and picked my brain about turning a tip, my escape stunts and… hmmm. I guess a little bit about this new guy Frank, who’s on the payroll now. I guess, thinking about it, I don’t know if they were trying to keep me from something in the back yard, or if they really wanted to know about this guy.

  So, while I was mad at having been pulled away from seeing Delilah, it led me to something else.

  Remember how I told you Charlie hasn’t been around much since Frank has been working the top? Well, you can imagine my surprise when I finally pulled myself away from the cook shack and headed back to our joint. As I was walking up, I could hear voices talking inside – not real loud, mind you – but raised up like they were trying to keep it quiet so no one could overhear, even though they were mad. So I snuck up to the laces, you know, around the edge where the sides of the top lace up together, and stuck my ear up to it to listen in.

  It was Charlie and Frank having a beef. And, I mean, really getting into it. I don’t know what started the whole thing, but by the time I got up to it, this is what I heard:

  First thing I hear Charlie say is, ‘Just who do you think you are? No one is going to go for that!’

  Then Frank came back with, ‘Oh, I think they will. If you didn’t think so, then they’d all know, wouldn’t they?’

  ‘Doesn’t matter what they know,’ Charlie told him. ‘Or what someone thinks they know.’

  Frank started to answer, ‘Yeah, you can say…’

  But Charlie interrupted him, saying, ‘Things are a lot different now than they used to be. And don’t you think for a moment that I’m going to let you say a damn thing to Tony! You just stay away from him! He knows all he needs to know.’

  And Frank, he said, ‘That boy don’t know much of anything, does he? Or you would’ve spoke up when you saw me on the lot that day. But you’d had a few, hadn’t you Charlie? Yeah, you had all right. I’ve seen it before and I know just what happens when you do that, don’t I?’

  I couldn’t see the look on my pops’ face at that point; but I had a pretty good idea what his face looked like right then. Like a bad dog caught piddling on the rug or something. I’ve seen him with that look plenty of times. I closed my eyes, trying to picture the inside of the top, imagining the two of them facing off on the little stage.

  Now Charlie ain’t no slouch, mind you – but the years of running the show rather than setting it up have left him a little soft. My pops stood a good few inches taller than this guy, Frank. But Frank carries himself in that wiry kind of way that only a carny in his prime seems to have. Tight, corded muscles used to lifting rope, his arms ending in the big worn and beaten hands that come from heaving the big pipes, stakes and sledgehammers. A dark look on his permanently sunburned face makes his bright blue eyes burn with an empty flame. Broken nose. A few tattoos. Just looking at Frank made me think of what someone who spent his whole life with bar fights and hard living should look like. Next to him, Charlie looks kind of like a desk-jockeying marshmallow.

  I was surprised then that I could hear Charlie muttering something to Frank under his breath then… something dark, mean and ugly. I don’t know what he was saying, but the hair on the back of my neck stood up just to hear the sounds coming from him. Never, ever have I heard my pops talk to anyone like that. Not even at his angriest.

  And I guess Frank wasn’t used to being talked to like that either, because by the time I heard Frank answer, his voice wasn’t filled with the bravado it had had before. There was something else in it. Fear? Maybe. Respect? Definitely. I heard him answer my pops, saying, ‘I’ll do what I promised you I would. You keep up your end of our bargain, and I’ll keep up mine.’

  They may have said more, but I snuck away then.

  I don’t know what they were talking about, either, greenie. It just made me think that maybe there’s more to this guy Frank than I’d thought. Will you keep an eye on him, for me? I mean, I would do it, but I still have something I need to do.

  Well, sure, I’m still going to go over to see Delilah! But I’ll do it tonight, after the show. Didn’t forget that we’re doing the grind, did you? There are marks who are begging to be separated from their money, son! But I’ll meet back up with you later.

  Psst! Greenie!! Yeah, you. Over here!

  Get down. Down! Look, just keep it quiet for a moment, all right? Staying behind this trailer may not be the most comfortable thing in the world, but it’s what we’re going to do for the moment.

  What happened? How do you know anything happened?

  OK, OK. Yes. Something happened. But keep your trap shut and I’ll tell you about it. Quietly… OK?

  I did what I told you I was going to do. I took a walk over to Delilah’s trailer. This time, I thought I’d avoid getting stopped by anyone, by reading the midway while I walked along. You know, ‘read the midway’ – I walked with my head down, looking for change and anything else the chumps might have dropped on their way out of the carnival.

  But when I got near the entrance to the back yard, what do you think I see? Mutt and
Jeff, who were hanging around the gate. Almost like they were waiting for me. I kept an eye on them though, as soon as I saw them, because I had no desire to get distracted again. So I kept my head down and headed around through the back way.

  So I figured, as I’m used to heights and climbing and things, that I’d scale over the fence using the Light Plant – that’s the big truck with the generators on it – to get myself through. Now, it probably meant that I would have to walk back out of the gate past Mutt and Jeff, but I figured I’d be OK at that point.

  It was easy enough to get over to where I wanted to go – to Delilah’s trailer. But when I got there, gazoonie… Well, when I got there, not all of the lights were off. So I was listening outside quietly, beneath the lit-up window that used to be her window – just to make sure it was still hers right? I hear voices – not just her voice, right? But a couple of voices – and it sounds like her and her father talking really quickly and urgently. Then I feel the whole trailer shift – like someone threw themselves into the side of it. And then more noises from inside. It was like things were being thrown around. Like someone was getting slapped or hit. I could hear loud voices, but couldn’t tell what they were saying. And then it sounded like crying.

  I froze. I completely froze. I didn’t know what to do. Should I get help? Or try to get in?

  Just then, I heard a yell behind me. I turned around and saw what looked like Mutt or Jeff – one of the carnies, anyway, it wasn’t a townie – running towards me and yelling. Well, a noise like that would wake up the whole lot, and… Well I just ran, greenie. I ran as quick as I could, not paying attention to where I was going.

  Within a few moments I’d put some good distance between me and Delilah’s trailer, and I started thinking I should turn around and tell whoever it was chasing me, who it was they were after. I mean, maybe they thought I was just some townie pervert sneaking around the trailers, being a peeping tom or something. I know I shouldn’t have run – but I did.

  When I turned around, though, there wasn’t anybody there. I guess I’d lost them as I ran through the lot. I was hoping that whoever it was who’d chased me off had heard what was going on in Delilah’s trailer, and maybe put a stop to it. But, if I went back to check, I’d have to answer why I was out there, right? That’s what made me stop and think. That’s what made me head back here instead of going back.

  What would you have done?

  CHAPTER 6

  Who’s that? Is that you, greenie?

  Yeah, you can come in. Sorry about the mess, but being stuck here in the trailer is not the best way to keep a clean house. Thanks! A good cup of joe was just what I needed. Nothing like a good cup of coffee to give you a quick lift. Heck, even a bad cup of joe would be better than drinking nothing but juice, like I have been. Stupid doctors.

  Well sure I’m healing up all right; but take a look at this, would you? I’m going to be limping around for a while with this stupid… Ah, I just can’t believe that it all went so badly wrong so quickly.

  Sure, sure. I’ll tell you exactly what happened. Sit down over there. Just shove that stuff off that chair. So our night was going along like any other, right? I mean, we’ve had a few blue dates in a row, so it was time to finally bring in some cash, right? Sometimes these carnival rules that Big Mike has to go along with – Dollar Days and other stupid ideas – I mean, who thinks up these things?

  You know what I mean by Dollar Days, gazoonie. Don’t get that look on your face like you haven’t put in even a single day on the midway. That’s when whoever it is running the lot, the one who called in Big Mike to bring the carnival there, decides to run some special on the rides and attractions. What was it this last time? One ticket for each ride or something dumb… Other times they offer wristbands to all the kiddies for a huge discount so they can ride all the rides – or make it so everyone rides on kids’ tickets. Always something dumb.

  Now, when they do it to the ride jocks – well honestly, why should we care? But the thing is, sometimes they’ll try to arrange it so the special includes the shows, too. Now a single-o, like the six-legged cow Delilah’s daddy has, is one thing. But, for them to do it to us? It’s ridiculous! Our nut is huge compared to most of the jocks here. We have a full staff to pay, plus the space rental, the parking for our trucks and trailers, hooking up to the genny… When they include our show, we’re just messed up, aren’t we? We can’t ever make that money up unless management decides to just burn the lot.

  You know how I’ve told you that Big Mike don’t put up with any of us ripping off the townies or doing anything bad to anyone else? We never pull a red light job, where we get people to work for us then drive off without paying them, or burn anyone – but after a few days of this mess, I think even he’s changing his tune! Yeah, he’s definitely not interested in coming back to this locale at all. That’s what it means to ‘burn the lot’. I’m talking about going ahead and letting the agents just take everybody’s money and not care if we or any other carnival is ever allowed to come back to this town again. Wouldn’t bother me none to never come back here again, let me tell you!

  So, anyway, we haven’t been making our nut. That’s the amount of money we need to bring in to cover our expenses. I know it, Charlie knows it, and most of the show and crew do, too. I bet even you can see it, can’t you? After the past few days of being ripped off by the lot, it was finally our time to pull out all the stops and make some cash. Now, for a showman like myself, the best way to bring in the crowds is to put on the best show I can. Word starts building throughout the lot when a show’s really good, then those townies take it back to their friends, and next thing you know, the place is full of people ready to see what’s going on.

  Yeah, I know some of the nonsense that the other shows have been telling you. How it’s our job to rip off the rubes without any thought to them. How does that phrase go? ‘Never give a sucker an even break, or wisen up a chump,’ that’s what Charlie told me some of the agents always say. But Charlie doesn’t buy into that and, more importantly, neither does Big Mike. And you don’t want to either, greenie. Trust me on that!

  So, it was finally our night. I’d been doing the counts; I knew we needed to make our nut, and that we needed to make it quick! And I figured the way to do it was to put something up on the bally that was way bigger than anyone else was doing. I worked it out with the rest of the troupe, we would push the grind as much as possible. See, we all know that Charlie, when he’s the outside talker, doesn’t always like to push to turn the tip… And when he’s like that, Murphy, who’s on the inside as the lecturer – well he’s not in a big hurry to push the show. But the faster we do the shows, the more we can do in a night – and the more customers we can get to pay to come in!

  The plan was to get Charlie distracted into doing other things at various times throughout the night, so that I could take over as the outside talker and really work on turning the tips. I figured the faster I turned the tips, the faster Murphy would work the acts inside. We (all the performers) also all agreed that we would keep our acts short, so it would help in speeding things through. Heck, even the half-and-half said she could make the blow-off go over in a really big way!

  So we launched into the night. As always when we opened, the midway was slow. We took our time, conserving our energies, getting ready to launch my plan, right? The sun was still up as we began, just like always, and the crowds stayed away. But come dark, I’m on the bally doing a little fire-eating and I can see the bigger crowds start flowing down the midway towards us. I give the signal to Jerry – he’s the show’s cowboy – and he comes out of the top to pull Charlie aside about a problem with the half-and-half act. Jerry makes it out to be big enough so that Charlie gives me the nod to take over talking the bally, then he heads around to the back of the top.

  Thing is, we all know that if Charlie has to step away from the bally, he probably won’t be back for a while. I may not like it, but I know my pops. A moment away is a moment to get
a snort. As if some alcohol will really make him a better talker – or whatever he thinks he’s doing.

  As soon as Charlie is gone, I really start laying it on the townies. You know the drill – about how they’ll be amazed by the wonders inside our joint. First, I start off with a couple big bursts of fire. Fire always helps gather a crowd. Having you as a shill, just stopping dead in the middle of the midway so it causes a jam of people right then, doesn’t hurt, either. And as the crowds slow down I start in with my crack – that’s the words that are going to bring this mob into a tip, ready to be turned into an audience in our joint.

  ‘My friends,’ I start saying, nice and friendly-like, ‘you are just in time. Just in time for the big show. Come closer, come closer. That’s the big, free show that we are about to perform for you, right on this stage, right now. What I’m going to do right now is bring out our performers. That’s right, friends. All of them are making their way out to the stage right now just to perform for you. That’s right, a free show, right here, right now.’ Then I lean back like I’m yelling into the tent, ‘Come on, now. Bring everyone out. The sword-swallower, the fire-eater. That’s right, all of them!’ Then I turn back to the audience, saying, ‘Move in closer, move in closer. We are going to do this show, we are going to do it for free, and I do not want you to miss a moment of it!’

  So the crowd is gathering closer and closer now, expecting a free show. I’ve given a nod and a wink to a couple of the girls (and a couple older ladies, too), so they’re dragging their men in with them, creating an even bigger traffic jam in front of the bally stage. All that is making people stop, who probably wouldn’t have done so otherwise.